


On the Inside

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Jedi Ben Solo, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Poe Dameron, Young Ben Solo, jealous ben solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 12:46:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16118765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: If not for all his wonderful qualities, Ben would hate Poe.





	On the Inside

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call it an idea that came to me while writing “Control”.

Sometimes Ben Solo thinks about how easy it would be to hate Poe Dameron. 

It would be easy, he thinks. Poe is everything that Ben could never be. Talented, not only handsome but beautiful, saying the right things at the right times, probably made from perfection. If it wasn’t for the fact that Poe is perhaps the sweetest, kindest man, it would be easy for Ben to assume he was just ugly on the inside, good old-fashioned jealousy talking. But Poe is a genuinely good being. 

They’re lying together in the grass one time when Poe says, “You okay?”

”Yes. No.” 

Poe inches up next to him. “Ben,” he says, “You can tell me anything. Really.”

His voice is so gentle that Ben finds himself telling him everything while Poe listens, attentive, kind. By the time Ben’s done with explaining how badly things are going during training, he’s nearly sobbing, and Poe looks horrified. Then, “Ben...I’m so sorry.”

”Not your fault,” Ben says. “It’s not like you caused it.” He sighs. “Sometimes I wish I was you. You have so many things I don’t have.”

”No, you do. I mean, you can do things with the Force that I can’t.” 

“But people like you. They don’t like me much.”

Poe smiles. “Do I count? What about your friends?”

”Yeah. True.” Ben finds himself smiling a bit. 

“You’re a likeable person. I like you. And you deserve to be happy and loved and do amazing things. Really.”

Somehow, with Poe, it’s like the feelings of not belonging disappear, because Poe can see things in him Ben forgets exist sometimes. He loves him. It’s hard to think of Poe as ugly on the inside when he’s saying such wonderful things. Poe is practically radiant, and Ben fears if he touches him he’ll get burned...

They lie together, and Ben somehow has a sense of belonging that he doesn’t feel often at the Academy. 


End file.
